


The Hope Only Of Empty Men.

by balthazar_impresario



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:00:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/balthazar_impresario/pseuds/balthazar_impresario
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tony finds that Steve isn't as perfect as he previously thought, he turns to the God of Mischief for consolation, not quite realising how all encompassing Loki would become.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is love, high noon, calamity, hard liquor.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from T.S. Eliot's "The Hollowmen", which is easily my favourite all time poem.  
> Chapter title from Carol Ann Duffy's "Quickdraw".  
> First timer, so this hasn't been beta'd, so please excuse any mistakes. Furthermore, I'm a Brit, so apologies for any British-isms (?). Enjoy c:

Tony and Steve were together, which was a good thing- apart from all the times it wasn't good. Which, actually, was whenever they weren't fucking.

The sex, Tony mused, was fantastic. (Hell, the sex was _mind blowing_.) He never would have guessed that prim and proper Captain Rogers could take it like a pro. Fuck, when Steve rode Tony, he really put all in; back arched, hips slamming down, head thrown back in a moan- enough to turn any straight guy.

But outside the bedroom they were constantly at each other's throats and _not_ in the kinky way.

Tony was stubborn and selfish- he knew this. Steve, however, could not understand why Tony refused to change for him. It wasn't that Steve wanted anything drastic, just for Tony to drink a little less, to be a little less reckless; basically to act like he gave a damn about his own life.

The problem was, Tony didn't give a damn about his life. He considered it an achievement that he hadn't shot himself in the head yet (he'd certainly wanted to enough times).

It wasn't that he was angry at the world, or that he felt _no one understood him._  He knew that no one truly understood him and he wasn't angry at the world, he was angry at his dad for setting the bar so high ( _Tony what are you doing, get out, I don't want to see your face here again_ ), angry at the press that loved to pull him done all the time, angry at himself for being so damn pathetic (alone and hollow, _so_ hollow).

But Tony really did like Steve, maybe even love him. "Anything else," he'd say, "I'll do _anything_ , Steve, but I can't pretend to feel I deserve you, that I deserve _any_ of this."

So they argued. They'd bicker over the smallest things and scream themselves hoarse over the infinitesimally bigger things. On missions they'd refuse to team up, causing everyone to argue.

Finally, Fury gave them an ultimatum; sort it out or end it.

So, Steve and Tony broke up, leaving Steve a mess and Tony? Well, Tony went out, got drunk and started fucking the God of Mischief.

\---

"Fuck!" Tony growled, " _Harder_ , Loki, I'm not gonna' fucking break!" Loki slammed his hips down, whilst biting on Tony's collarbone- _hard._ Tony groaned, the mix between searing pain and intense pleasure making his back arch, lifting his hips to meet every one of Loki's deep thrusts.

With a final broken groan, Tony came, vision whiting out as his toes curled, feeling Loki follow him, heat filling him deep inside. Tony collapsed down onto the bed, Loki rolling off him to lay by his side.

For a few minutes they lay there, panting, before Tony felt the bed shift as Loki stood up. Tony sat up and watched as Loki dressed, shamelessly admiring the curve of his spine as Loki bent to pick up his discarded shirt.

Tony eventually followed suit, pulling on his boxers and yanking a t-shirt over his head, just in time to see Loki open the hotel door and walk out without a backward look.

Before collapsing back on the unmade bed, Tony grabbed a bottle of the scotch from the mini bar, thanking the Gods that it was half decent brand. Drinking straight from the bottle, Tony tried and failed to not think of Steve.

An hour later he was asleep, bottle empty and cheeks damp.

\---

The next time, Tony was cuffed to the bed, blindfolded, with Loki riding him. With every moan the God made, Tony's brain echoed it in Steve's voice. Each shift of Loki's hips, each bite, each touch, Tony imagined it was Steve's.

He came quickly, head thrown back against the pillows, fists clenched as he screamed out Steve's name. He felt Loki follow with a grunt. This time, Loki walked out as quickly as he could, saying nothing as he untied Tony's wrists and left the room.

Tony washed his guilt away with the hotel's finest whiskey.

\---

Loki never kissed him, never stayed after and never said a word.

Tony, in return, kept quiet, told no one and never mentioned it when Loki's moaned Thor's name in place of his own.

In a silent agreement, both knew this was, and would only ever be, sex.

When Thor proposed to Jane, Tony got fucked for nearly an hour, Loki making his come again and again until, finally, the God collapsed onto the bed, tears rolling down his cheeks. Tony had just stood, dressed and left the room.

Similarly, when Clint has let it slip to Tony that Steve was dating someone else, a women he'd met, Loki had, as per Tony's text, arrived at the designated hotel and had let Tony fuck him on all fours; nails leaving marks down Loki's back, Tony imagining it was Steve who was writhing under him and clutching at the sheets.

Tony finally collapsed, physically sated but emotionally strung up, feeling as though his world was falling apart around him.

He didn't even see Loki leave through his tears.

\---

The next year passed for Tony in an alcohol hazed dream. Fury eventually kicked him off the team, Pepper locked away his suits and Rhodey stopped calling.

The worst bit, however, what always managed to stick in his memory when everything else was washed away by alcohol, was when Steve would show up in the workshop; head bowed, shuffling his feet, and begging Tony to let him "help".

Those days Tony would drink until he woke the next day in a pool of his own vomit.

Eventually, however, the alcohol stopped working and Tony would just lie in his bed, day after day, only eating when Pepper made him but never saying a word. She would keep telling him that things would get better and he'd never believe her. He stopped caring about anything and everything; gone was his desire to build, design and create.

The only thing that Tony held the _slightest_ curiosity for was what had happened to the equally damaged God.

One day, Loki had just stopped texting Tony's cell, or appearing in his bedroom on random nights. Somewhere, deep in Tony's brain, he was wondering _why_. Now, even when Steve's begging couldn't get a reaction from him, Loki still managed to spark curiosity.

Later, Tony would realise why this was, but for now, he just let his thoughts fester.

\---

Christmas came and went, with Pepper and Happy getting engaged and Steve finding Sharon Carter, a relation of Peggy's, whom he soon began to date.

Tony had finally dragged himself out of bed. He didn't go out, merely flitted between the workshop and his bedroom; never saying much, eating little and remaining apathetic to his surroundings.

Pepper had thought that Tony's return to the workshop was an improvement, never realising that Tony was only building things to destroy once he'd finished.

And still Loki never showed.

What had began as a slight niggling in the back on Tony's head, had grown into an overwhelming _need_ to know what had happened to Loki. So, he texted him, hoping that maybe, this time, he'd appear as he always had done before.

Unexpectedly, however, Loki replied to Tony's text, whereas usually Loki just showed up, always in silence and always willing. So, when Tony's phone lit up with an incoming message, he was shocked, and a little bit relieved;

**_What do you want, Stark?_ **

Tony frowned and replied, **I want to talk to you.**

**_I reiterate, why? You've never had an interest in talking with me before._ **

**Why are you being so difficult?**

**_It's in my nature. Now, what do you want?_ **

**To talk.**

**_Why?_ **

**Humour me.**

"Why should I?" Loki's voice came from behind Tony, making him swear loudly as he span to face the God.

"How the _fuck_ did you get in my workshop?" Tony had the best security system in the world, he should know, he built it.

"Not much can deter me, Stark. Now, you said you wished to talk, so please, go ahead, I do have other things to be doing." Getting over the shock of Loki's sudden appearance, he took the time to look the guy over and, fuck, he looked _wrecked._ Black bags under his eyes, bruising smattering the pale skin of his arms , exposed by the scraggly black t-shirt and too large jeans slipping off his painfully narrow hips.

" _Jesus_ ," Tony said, "What happened?"

Loki sighed, "It appears I upset more than Midgard with my performance last year, and those involved finally decided on taking their revenge."

"But surely Odin or Thor or _someone_ would come and help you? You look like you've been fucking tortured."

Loki, finally, looked directly at Tony, the green of his eyes seeming dimmer than Tony remembered, "Odin doesn't take treason lightly."

Was Loki suggesting, he couldn't possibly be- "You're telling me that Odin wouldn't come and help you because of what you'd done? That's fucking _twisted_."

"Odin has a very idiosyncratic view on punishment. He dare not inflict pain by his own hand, but he willing watches as other's do the deed." The hurt in Loki's voice was evident, even if he was doing a good job at hiding it. Tony had been hiding for so long now he could tell when others were too. Due to this, Tony felt it was his job to help as much as he could.

"Is there anything I can do?" Tony asked, hoping the God would say yes. He didn't know why, but he _needed_ to help Loki, maybe for his own sanity, or maybe because he saw far too much of himself in the man.

Loki arched an eyebrow, "What could you possibly do for me, Stark?"

Tony shrugged and gestured around him, "I've got food, warmth and enough space that you wouldn't even have to speak to me if you didn't want."

"I thought your _team mates_ lived with you?" The sneer made Tony laugh for the first time in a long time,

"I kicked them out when they kicked me off their team."

Loki actually looked genuinely shocked, "They kicked you off the team? I was under the impression they ran off your funding." Somehow, Loki managed to phrase his question as to not sound at all curious, even though he clearly was.

"I suppose they found someone else's bank account to drain." Tony shrugged. He hadn't actually thought about it and he now realised that he didn't care much at all. "So, what do you say? I'll even let you use the workshop, if you want." Clearly Tony had gone crazy, as he _never_ let anyone use his workshop; not even Banner had earned that honour.

Loki stared at him for a moment, as if attempting to see if Tony was luring him into a trap. Clearly deciding it was safe, Loki spoke, "I suppose, under the circumstances, I would benefit immensely from your generosity," He paused, seeming to deliberate for a moment, "I- I mean, well... You have my thanks."

Tony smirked at Loki's distaste at having to thank him for anything. "Don't mention it." Tony paused for a moment, deciding how to word what he was thinking. "You look like shit and you _really_ need a shower." Blunt and brutal always worked best.

Tony gave Loki a quick tour of the house, showing him the God's room (and if it was next to Tony's then it was just because he didn't want Loki wondering around his home without Tony knowing about it), giving him clean clothes to wear (yes, okay, that was Tony's favourite Black Sabbath t-shirt, and _what?_ ) and showing him the bathroom, where he left Loki to himself (and no that wasn't a last lingering look he gave him, nope, not at all).

Tony went to get a drink, wondering why his own brain was betraying him.

\---

That evening found Loki and Tony sat at either ends of the couch, resolutely ignoring one another. Tony was sketching on his tablet whilst Loki read a book he'd chosen from Tony's collection- the fact that Tony even owned books had been a surprise to him.

It was all very... Domestic. It alarmed Tony how comfortable he felt in Loki's presence. Gone was the constant itching under his skin for another drink and his mind felt blissfully clear for once. It was almost like Loki was a balm to chaos of Tony's thoughts and it scared him- a lot.

Tony had never been a strong believer in what was "morally right". Even when he'd started screwing Loki, he'd known that the whole team would have considered it "wrong". Hell, Tony can even picture the disappointed face Steve would pull. But in Tony's opinion, Loki was just another person who had made a few wrong choices, got fucked over too many times. He didn't care that Loki had tried to kill him, that Loki had killed hundreds of people. Tony had himself killed _millions_ through the weapons he had sold, and yet he had got given a second chance, so why the fuck shouldn't Loki?

So it wasn't that Tony felt like he was doing something wrong. Neither was it that he was afraid of Loki; if the man had wanted to kill him, he'd had plenty opportunity before. So it was neither fear not guilt that was making Tony feel so... _Odd._

It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, per say, more the opposite in fact. A warmth was spreading though him and he felt himself smiling involuntarily. It was similar to how he had felt when he was with Steve, just without the constant self loathing and the feeling that he wasn't good enough.

The sofa shifted as Loki stretched, causing Tony to be jolted away from his thoughts. Shamelessly he watched as Loki reached above his head, spine popping from sitting hunched up so long and the God's long legs reached across the sofa as he sat more comfortably, feet inches from Tony's thigh.

Tony had to physically stop himself from lifting Loki's feet onto his lap, because _they were not together._ Clearly Tony's addled brain, so starved of company, had taken Loki's presence and made it into a relationship (which was wrong, _very_ wrong. They'd never be together, it'd be impossible, simply because, well, just _because_ ).

Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead, wondering again why his own brain was turning against him and refusing to give him the answers he needed.

Loki looked up at Tony's sigh, "Tired, Stark? Please don't feel you have to watch over me, I promise to behave." It was entirely irrational that Loki's words made Tony feel just that little bit too warm ( _I want you to misbehave, I want to berate you and tie you up_ ). He seriously needed to sleep, his brain was clearly entirely out of it.

Tony stood up quickly, determined to get away from Loki before he did something stupid, "I, yeah, night." He walked quickly out the room (he ran for his life) and he most definitely didn't throw a last desperate look over his shoulder before Loki completely disappeared from view (the god had looked confused at Tony's sudden departure).

He was _so_ fucked. 


	2. Time hates love, wants love poor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Carol Ann Duffy's "Hour".

The next few days were spent with Tony leaving the room as soon as Loki entered them, stilted conversation ( _"Are you avoiding me, Stark?"_ at which point Tony had scarpered) and awkward, yet intense, eye contact where each of them seemed to be waiting for the other to bring up what was clearly happening between them. Neither of them ever did.

After about a week, Tony finally stopped running away, just as Loki stopped questioning it. They both silently agreed to ignore whatever the hell was going on and return to normal, or at least, as normal as it could be when you have the God of Mischief living in your home.

Tony found that, once he got past his attraction to Loki (which, yes, he'd finally admitted to, even if it had taken _forever_ ), the guy was actually really interesting to talk to; crazy smart, quick witted and with a dry sense of humour. He could kind of understand why Loki and Thor had never got on, Thor being the complete opposite; a little dim and incapable of understanding sarcasm, let alone Loki's subtle sense of humour.

Whilst working on an update to the repulsors on the Mark IV (even though he hadn't used any of the suits in at least a year, he didn't trust himself, it was too easy to step over the line in his head that stopped him from doing wrong), Loki had shown up in the workshop. Tony had ignored him at first, busy working, but eventually he watched, somewhat amused, as the God flicked through his blueprints, admired some of the pieces he'd made and jumped back in surprise when Dummy had ' _whirl_ 'd at him, making Tony out right laugh.

"Can I help you?" he said, realising he wouldn't get any work done while Loki was down here with him.

Loki walked over to where he was working, the close proximity making Tony's whole body thrum with electricity. "What are you working on?" he asked, looking genuinely curious.

"They're an update for the repulsors in one of my suits; I'm trying to make the shift in power smoother." 

Loki frowned as he looked over Tony's vague blueprints, "I do not understand how this works," He looked up at Tony (Tony couldn't help but notice that Loki's eyes looked greener today), "Can you show me?"

And that, really, is how it all started. Tony began showing Loki how he worked; he started off by teaching Loki the basics of physics, (Newton, Laws of Thermodynamics, _yadda yadda_ ) amused by the God's grumbles of _"magic is so much easier"._ Tony then attempted to demonstrate the nuances of his own work, explaining the arc reactor's tech, along with how the suits worked (at one point Loki had asked where the original, large arc reactor had gone. Tony had frozen up, images of Obie falling echoing through his mind).

Loki was intelligent as it was, so it was not hard work teaching him, in fact, Tony found himself enjoying himself. Furthermore, he couldn't help but find it endearing when he'd find Loki curled up on the couch with a book on quantum mechanics on his lap (and yeah, it was little hot to hear the God discuss the advantages of string theory to loop quantum gravity).

Tony had gone down to the workshop one day to find Loki bent over a workbench, intensely engrossed in whatever he was doing. In the tight jeans Tony had bought him and green shirt (always black and green, Tony couldn't convince Loki to wear any other colours) the view had been far too much for Tony's already strained control and he'd walked straight back out the room again, just to go upstairs and have a cold shower (which had actually turned out to be a very hot, 10 minute long shower in which he wanked to images of fucking Loki over a workbench).

It didn't help, of course, that Tony had already slept with the guy; he _knew_ just how good Loki was in bed, he didn't have to imagine it. He knew how it felt to have to God filling him inch by inch, how Loki looked when he came; his pale skin adopting a slight flush, pupils blown until his eyes appeared entirely black.

What _was_ different was that, in his imagination, Tony wondered at how Loki's mouth would feel on his own, what it'd be like to take him slowly, how Loki's voice would sound moaning _Tony's_ name.

Shaking his head as if the expel the thoughts, Tony stood from where he was sitting, stretched and went upstairs hoping that Loki had made dinner again.

\---

As always, no good things last and after two weeks of domestic bliss with Loki, something bad was bound to happen. That bad thing came in the form of Pepper Potts.

Tony and Loki had taken to watching movies in the evenings, Tony demanding Loki caught up with Earth's culture, while Loki seemed content to just spend time with Tony (which didn't make Tony feel ecstatically happy, not in the _slightest_ ). Right now, Tony was showing Loki all the (good) Star Wars films, which Loki was smirking at- no surprise, considering Loki actually _knew_ what space was like. Come to that, so did Tony, but he didn't like thinking of the endless black he had witnessed in those moments where he had been _sure_ he was going to die.

So when Pep walked in to find Tony, sober and looking healthier than he had in the last year, sharing a blanket with Loki, both sitting closer then what you could call friendly, she was more than a little surprised.

" _Tony?"_ She said quietly, as if not daring to believe what she was seeing, "What's going on?"

Tony jumped up, trying to not look guilty, "Ah, right, Pep I _was_ going to tell you about this, I swear, I just didn't know how to put it..." He ran a hand through his hair, the excuse sounding lame to his own ears.

"Tony could we talk _privately_ , please?" Pepper said, eyeing Loki with distrust. Loki took the hint and left the room silently, letting his fingers trail across the back of Tony's hand as he walked passed, silently apologising for what would clearly be a massive argument with Pepper.

When Loki had left, Tony tried to speak, only to find he didn't have anything to say (he had no reason to be guilty, okay, Loki was a _friend_ , just that). Pepper, taking his silence as defiance, spoke, "Tony have you actually lost your mind?" Tony remained silent. " _Speak to me!_ Tell me what the hell you think you're doing! Loki is a _bad guy;_ he _killed Phil,_ do you not care about that? Do you not care about any of us?"

At that Tony couldn't help but get angry, "Do I _care_ , Pep? Do _I_ care? I don't know, but the rest of the fucking team clearly don't _care_ about me! They kicked me out and left me alone without even a second thought! Exactly when I needed someone _to care_ they all left!"

Pepper had a hand over her mouth, tears silently streaming down her face, "That's the most you've said to me in a year, Tony." She said quietly. He remained silent, watching as she pulled herself together again. "I understand that you're going through a hard time after Steve-"

Tony interrupted her, "You _don't_ understand Pepper and this had _nothing_ to do with Steve fucking Rogers. This has to do with the fact that I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that the rest of my life will be this!" He gestured around, "It will be me trying to impress everyone and never succeeding, craving every scrap of attention that gets thrown my way and always needing _more_ , because I'm sure that if I don't get noticed, then people will forget me. Which, clearly, they already have done. This is me knowing that I don't deserve _any_ of this and realising that I can _never_ do enough to make myself worthwhile!" Tony broke off, breathing heavily with his fist clenched at his sides.

Pepper, to her credit, looked guilty, "But why _him_ , Tony? Why _Loki?_ "

"Because Loki's gone through what I have as well and knows how I'm feeling. Because when I talk to Loki, he actually listens instead of waiting for his turn to speak. Because Loki wants to know _me_ , not my money or my fame. Because Loki's just as lost as I am and I _want_ to help him because maybe if I do this _one good thing_ I'll have done enough to make my father proud of me! _That's_ why Loki, Pepper."

Pepper looked shocked, "Tony, are you _in love with him?_ " That made Tony freeze, his brain's processing unit shocked into stillness. He knew his mouth was open, but he couldn't quite remember how to close it. ( _Are you in love with him? In love with him? Lovelovelovelovelove_ ).

"No- I don't, I can't-" Tony felt like he was drowning under Pepper's gaze. He couldn't love Loki, because when he loved things they left; Steve, Rhodey, Obie, his dad. "Pepper I _can't_ love him."

Pepper's eyes went soft and, slowly as if not to scare him off, she wrapped her arms around him. At the familiar smell of Pepper ( _of home, of safety, of friendship, of protection_ ) his whole body slumped and he buried his head in her shoulder, as if to hide from the truth.

That night Pepper put him to bed, promising things would be okay. This time, Tony could almost believe her.

\---

When Tony woke up the next day, he studiously avoided Loki's gaze, spending the day in the workshop, where he stripped down the Mark VI and rebuilt it from scratch.

It wasn't until the evening that Loki finally spoke to him, "Tony?" he said quietly. Tony looked up, trying to avoid the God's eyes, "Are we still going to watch that film tonight?" Loki looked genuinely worried about Tony; it made Tony's stomach do little flips.

"Yeah, sure, just give me a bit to clean up." Loki nodded silently and left the room.

When Tony made his way upstairs, he found Loki already on the couch, bowl of popcorn in hand and the title menu for _V for Vendetta_ on screen.

He slid onto the sofa, and pulled the blanket over himself, trying to ignore the heat he could feel radiating off Loki, attempting to engross himself in the film. The film opened with Natalie Portman's voiceover _"Remember, remember the fifth of November, gunpowder, treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot."_

Already Tony could feel his attention slipping and he found himself admiring the sharp edge of Loki's jaw instead of watching the screen ( _Are you in love with him?_ _In love?_ ). Tony smiled at the smirk that appeared on Loki's face at the 'V' speech. Tony wondered if Loki could understand what the guy was saying, because Tony had no clue.  

Loki looked at him then, as if knowing Tony was watching, and smiled questioningly, as if to say _"is there something wrong?"_ Tony wonders when he learnt to understand Loki's intent from his expressions alone. Just as now, Tony knows due to the furrow in Loki's brow, that he was wondering why Tony just kept staring and that now, the blush high on Loki's cheekbones meant his thoughts had led to less innocent things.

Tony doesn't know why he does it, or why he chose now. Maybe it's because Loki looks practically edible in dark jeans that cling to his legs and one of Tony's Metallica t-shirts. Or maybe it's because Tony's afraid this good thing has gone on too long and that Loki will go anytime soon, so Tony has to make the best of it.

Whatever the reason, Tony doesn't regret it when he shifts his body so he's facing Loki, now able to see clearly as Loki's eyes widen in surprise. Tony pulls his hand from under the blankets and brings it up to Loki's chin, brushing his thumb over the God's lips. They part under Tony's touch and he can feel each exhale of Loki's breath.

Loki clenches his hand into Tony's t-shirt pulling him closer. Tony shifts under the blanket, moving so that he can throw his leg over Loki's, as to sit in the God's lap facing him. Tony runs a hand over Loki's jaw, looking straight into his eyes. Loki stares back, holding on tightly to Tony's hips, hard enough to bruise.

Almost silently, Tony hears Loki say "Tony, _please._ " And that's what does it for Tony.

With a groan in his throat, Tony leans down and kisses Loki, softly so that their lips are barely touching, but then harder so that he can taste Loki's mouth, groaning as Loki runs a tongue over Tony's bottom lip.

After that it becomes a lot more heated, Tony grinding down on Loki's lap as he kisses the God, hands fisted in his long, black hair, pulling Loki's head back to kiss and bite down his throat, feeling satisfaction at the marks he leaves behind.

Loki is panting, pulling Tony as close as he can, his hands slipping under Tony's shirt to leave marks across his back. Tony finally breaks away from Loki's neck long enough to slip off the couch to kneel between Loki's spread legs, running his hands up the God's thighs and watching him shiver. Tony hooks his finger in Loki's waistband, teasing slightly, before popping the button and pulling the zip down. Already Tony's impatient and he mouths at Loki's cock through his boxers, whilst simultaneously pulling the ridiculously tight jeans off as Loki lifts his hips.

Slowly, Tony pushes Loki's boxers down, sucking on each piece of exposed flesh, nosing into the hair at the base of Loki's cock. He feels more than hears the exhale of breath that comes from above when Tony licks a stripe up Loki's cock from base to tip; lingering, sucking the head into his mouth and running his tongue along the slit.

He's never done this to Loki before; it had been _too_ intimate, _too_ personal. So he takes his time to chart the places that make Loki gasp (hips, inner thighs) and what makes the God arch up into Tony's touch (hand and mouth working in tandem, a little teeth).

Soon, Loki was moaning in a constant stream Tony taking the God's cock deep, swallowing as the head hits the back of his throat. It's only when Tony pulls back to suck one of his fingers and run it down over Loki's balls and slip it into Loki's entrance that Loki really reacts, pulling on Tony's hair as if to beg him to put his mouth on him once more. Tony concedes, taking Loki deep into his throat once more, whilst working his finger in and out so that Loki's torn between pushing down into Tony's hand and lifting his hips as to push himself deeper into Tony's mouth.

With a cry of " _Fuck, Tony!_ ", Loki comes deep in Tony's throat. Tony pulls back to look up at the God, only to find Loki pulling him up to kiss him deeply as if to taste himself on Tony's tongue. Tony moans and kisses back, grinding down on Loki desperately.

Loki pulls back and unbuttons Tony's jeans before shoving a hand down the front and gripping his cock, working him to completion. Tony cries out, his head buried in the crook of Loki's neck as he fucks into Loki's hand, garbling out senseless phrases; "So good, _ah,_ perfect, so perfect, Loki, oh, _oh- Loki!_ ", before coming hard into Loki's hand.

Tony pants into Loki's neck, still clutching at his t-shirt, complacently letting the God tuck him back into his jeans and zip him back up. Tony shifts so that he's sitting next to Loki once more, shoulder to hip pressed against each other.

For a moment there's silence, until Loki speaks, "Apologies Tony, but I have absolutely no clue as to what is going on in this film." Tony snorts and throws his head back as he laughs, before kissing Loki once more, cradling Loki's face in his palms, before resting their foreheads together.

They fall asleep that night wrapped together on the sofa, Tony's back pressed firmly against Loki's chest, a smile on his face.

\---

Tony awakes the next morning with a crick in his neck but still feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness. Behind him he feels as Loki shifts in his sleep, the arm slung over Tony hip tightening slightly as he forces his way to consciousness through the vicissitudes of slumber.

When he feels Loki nuzzling into the nape of his neck, Tony rolls so that he's facing Loki, letting the God kiss him, enjoying the way he sucks on his bottom lip slightly. "Morning," Loki says, voice gravelly and rough from sleep, making him sound impossibly sexy.

"Mornin," Tony replies, not being much of a talker before his morning coffee (or three, hell, who ever said a person could have _too_ much coffee). Stretching, Tony sits up, rubbing a hand across his sore neck and wincing slightly.

"Neck problems?" Loki asks, before sitting up also and running a hand across the back of Tony's neck. Tony shudders as he feels a chill run through his skin, before realising his neck no longer hurts.

"Did you just use your voodoo on me?" Tony asks as he turns to face Loki.

Loki shrugs, "I don't appreciate it being called _'voodoo'_ but yes, I did just heal you magically."

Tony narrows his gaze at Loki for a few moments before smiling, "I suppose I'll have to find out _exactly_ what you can do with those magic hands of yours." He winks, before standing and waltzing off to the kitchen, swinging his hips exaggeratedly and smirking at Loki over his shoulder (Tony couldn't deny that the lust in Loki's eyes was a _huge_ turn on).

Tony fell into the routine of making coffee, already feeling the early morning itch telling him he needed caffeine (it was more like a background buzz in his head of _coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee_ ) and he set about making bacon because bacon was food for post-sex joy (bacon was anytime food really, because _hell yes_ bacon).

He smiles as Loki comes up behind him and slips his arms around Tony's waist; resting his head on Tony's shoulder "Smells good." He says, burrowing his face into Tony's neck.

"What, the food or me?" Tony asks, smirking.

"Both," Loki replies, "but I'd much rather eat you." He says before biting down slightly on Tony's neck.

Loki's words send a jolt of lust straight to Tony's cock, but his stomach grumbles in protest. Turning to kiss Loki lightly, he pushes him away, "Coffee and food first. Then sex."

Loki laughs and raises his hands in a gesture of acceptance, "Whatever Mr. Stark wishes," he says, chuckling slightly.

However, something happened then that threw everything off course.

"Sir, Captain Rogers is on the phone for you, he says it's urgent." JARVIS' voice echoed around the kitchen. Tony froze at hearing Steve's name, before looking up at Loki. Loki looked similarly surprised, but he shrugged,

"Take the call, I'll cook breakfast." Tony nods and leaves the room, trying to ignore the slight chill to Loki's works ( _oh shit oh shit oh shit_ ) as he tells JARVIS to patch the call through.

" _Tony?_ " Steve's voice sounds clear as day through the speakers and it still makes Tony catch his breath.

"Hello Steve," he says, tying to sound as uninterested as possible.

" _It's good to hear your voice again, Tony. I've missed you, you know._ " Tony winces, trying to ignore the faint flutter in his stomach at Steve's words.

"What do you want?" Tony asks, trying to cut this short as to forget about Steve's existence and return to Loki.

" _Right, skipping the chit chat then. Well, erm..._ " Tony can imagine Steve blushing and rubbing at the back of his head in embarrassment, " _The thing is Pepper told me about it. I mean, uh, about you and, um, Loki._ " Tony froze, eyes widening. Pepper had told Steve? " _Well,_ " Steve continued nervously, " _I overheard her telling Clint and I thought maybe I could talk to you about it?_ " Oh, well that was okay, he'd expected that. Clint deserved to know, just in case he happened to visit Tony and ended up running into the guy who'd possessed his mind.

"You want to talk about _it_?" Tony questioned, already feeling anger bubbling in his stomach, "What exactly does the _mighty_ Captain America have to say about _it,_ huh?"

" _Tony please don't be like that, I'm just worried about you okay? I don't trust Loki; I think you're making a mistake._ " Tony could hear Steve's team leader voice coming through, his _Captain America_ _voice_ (Tony had forgotten how much he fucking _hated_ that voice), and Tony saw _red_.

"Sorry but what exactly the fuck has it go to do with you, Rogers? You fucking _dumped_ me, so you have no fucking right telling me what to do."

" _I know, Tony and I'm sorry okay, I regret doing what I did and-_ " Tony interrupts him there, not able to listen to another word without either breaking something or breaking down.

"Rogers, piss off, I don't need this shit. Don't fucking apologise to me, it's _too late_. Sorry Captain, but this is one mission you're just going to have to fail."

" _Tony, please-_ " Steve begs.

"Don't fucking call me that! It's over Steve, okay? Just piss off back to _Sharon_."

Tony went to end the call, but Steve's next words made him freeze; " _I broke up with Sharon weeks ago._ "

"What? Why?"

Tony could hear Steve's exhale over the phone, " _Because I'm still in love with you, Tony._ " 


	3. Because everyone thinks it's timeless, well time's running out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from Protest The Hero's song "Tongue-Splitter".  
> This was written pretty quickly, so excuse any mistakes.

Tony walks back into the kitchen in a daze, not really sure what to tell Loki. He had hung up the phone after Steve's confession, not daring himself to believe it.

Tony had been sure (okay, maybe 98% sure) that he had been in love with Steve. Now, he's not anywhere near as sure, (maybe 2%, 5% at a push). Unlike with Steve where they both just seemed to be constantly arguing, Tony and Loki seemed to work. With Steve it had been a relationship built around sex, not words. It was the opposite with Loki.

Loki was sat at the kitchen table, plate of untouched food in front of him and cradling a mug of coffee. "What did he want?" Loki asks, his voice monotonous.

"He, er, had something to tell me." Tony mutters, pouring himself a coffee and settling down on the table opposite Loki.

Loki tilts his head, "Anything interesting?"

Tony fidgets with his mug, pushing it around the table top. "Well, now you mention, it. Uh, yeah." Tony winces at the guilt that's evident in his voice.

Loki remains silent, his unasked question hanging in the air between them; _what did he say?_

Tony looks up at Loki, only to look back down again as Loki's green eyes make him want to throw up from shame. Tony sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "He told me, uh, Steve that is." Tony takes another gulp of coffee before gabbling out, " _He told me that he still loves me, Loki._ "

The silence between them was deafening; Tony couldn't even hear Loki breathing.

Loki eventually broke the silence, "Well? Are you still in love with him, Stark?"

Tony opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it again not knowing what he would of said anyway (say _no_ you idiot, _nononononono_ ). The use of his surname hurt more than he could of previously imagined, but not nearly as much as the thought of hurting Loki. Yet, he still kept silent, unable to put words to the turmoil in his head.

Loki stood, the scraping of the chair sounding harsh against Tony's ears, "I see," he mutters, before leaving the kitchen.

Tony watches him walk away and feel bile rising up in his throat; why is he so fucking _stupid_? Why can't he just admit to Loki how much he cares? _Fucking Steve Rogers,_ he thinks, _fucking ruining everything_ (Tony's knows he's just shifting the blame and that he's the fuck up here).

Tony stands and leaves the kitchen to go and find Loki, to apologise to him, to tell him the truth. To tell him that Tony is, that Tony- (C'mon Stark, you can fucking admit it in your own head, _Jesus_ ). That Tony is in _love_ with Loki.

He checks Loki's bedroom, the living room, even the _bathroom_ but he can't find the God anywhere. Tony pulls out his cell and sends Loki a text, but a few moments later he hears Loki's text alarm chime and finds the God's cell phone on the table in the entrance hall.

Loki was gone.

Tony swore and ran both his hands through his hair, frustrated at his own inability to voice what he was feeling. He had no idea how to find Loki, let alone how to begin apologising for what a mess he had made.

So, doing as Tony always does best, he pulls out a bottle of scotch from the bar (why did he restock it, _so fucking stupid_ ) and takes a deep swallow, revelling in the burn that travels down his throat. But instead of fading away to pleasant warmth, it just _keeps_ burning. Tony drops the bottle and falls to his knees, hands landing on shards of broken glass; scotch mixing with his own blood.

He feels like there's something clawing its way from inside his chest, leaving his stomach empty and lurching, but making his chest _so_ tight, feeling like he's going to burst. His insides feel like they're burning from guilt and regret; his eyes are stinging from the tears and his throat is raw from the sobs being ripped out of his chest.

For all the effort he's put into rebuilding his walls, hiding behind a composed exterior, someone always comes along and rips it down. But Tony's been wearing this mask for so long, it's started to eat into his face; he has been hiding this shame, this guilt, and this _inability to love_ for so long.

But that's not why he's lying on his side in a pool of scotch and blood, sobbing his heart out. He's here because he fucked up _big time_ and although he's so far gone that he doesn't care what knock on effect that will have on him, he's desperately guilty for what he's done to Loki.

The look of betrayal in his green eyes had ripped through Tony and now he can't get the image out of his head ( _I'm so sorry, so sorry, please, I'm so sorry_ ). Loki's gone and Tony has no way of contacting him and he's scared that Loki's going to do something reckless, he's _so scared_ because he _can't_ lose Loki, not now, not after he's just pulled himself out of his own pit, a pit that had before seemed so bottomless, but from where he was saved by Loki; by his dry humour and curious eyes. From where Loki pulled him, patched him back up and fixed Tony's broken smile.

Tony was scared that Loki was going to do something dangerous.

Tony didn't know how right he was.

\---

Pepper finds him not an hour later, eyes red rimmed and clothes soaked through with scotch, curled up in the foetal position, no longer sobbing but silent tears still rolling down his cheeks.

"Tony? _Shit,_ Tony!" Pepper runs over and pulls Tony up into a sitting position, running her hands over him to find the source or the blood pooled around them.

Tony remains silent, only wincing when Pepper takes one of his hands, which draws her attention to them; crusted with broken glass and ripped into shreds. "Oh, _Tony_ ," she says, and she's using the voice she adopts when Tony's got ridiculously drunk and hurts himself (his Pavlovian response is to feel guilty, but he doesn't know if he can feel any guiltier right now).

Pepper stands and dashes off to the kitchen, her heels _click clacking_ on Tony's floors, only to come back moments later with a damp cloth. She takes one of Tony's hands and begins to silently clean it, pulling out each shard of glass and dropping it to the floor. There's soon a big pile; shining with Tony's blood like rubies.

Finally, Tony speaks, "I just let him go, Pep. I didn't even stop him." His voice breaks at the end and he can feel the sobs rising up in his throat again.

Pepper takes him into his arms, but it no longer feels comforting. Tony doesn't want comfort, he deserves this pain ripping though him and turning him inside out. "I know where he is, Tony," Pepper says quietly.

Tony untangles himself from her arms, eyes wide with surprise, "Where is he? Tell me Pepper, _tell me!"_

Pepper winces, "Tony he's in Central Park but- Tony, the whole team's there, he's ripping the place apart and no one can get close enough to stop him."

Tony jumps up, already telling JARVIS the passwords to unlock the suits and prepare them. As he runs down the stairs to the workshop, he can hear Pepper following, but she remains thankfully silent, not questioning his actions or reminding him that he hadn't used _any_ of his suits in over a year.

It wasn't until he was actually inside the Mark IV, Pepper wringing her hands as she watched him readjust himself with the tech, that he realised what he was doing (you'll kill them, all of them because you're _bad_ , you always mess up, you're a _fuck up_ ) and panic washed over him.

"Pepper, I-" Tony broke off at the sound of his voice coming through the suit, forgetting just how robotic it sounded, "If I mess up, or don't come back, I'm sorry."

Pepper shook her head firmly, "You'll be fine, now go, _quickly._ " As he took off for the first time in what felt like forever, Tony marvelled at how selfless Pepper was. He could never be that, never give someone up for another person's gain.

Tony tried not to dwell on where he was going, instead focusing on relearning the suit and how it responded to his actions; the slightest movements echoed through the machinery until he was at one with it, moving fluidly once more.  

The devastation of Central Park could be seen from Tony's viewpoint; a massive circle of wreckage and at the centre a figure. As Tony neared he could see Loki in more detail, he was dressed once more in his Asgardian armour and he looked a mess.

Tony landed on the outskirts of the park; not wanting to approach too quickly for fear that Loki would lash out. The grass had been ripped up exposing the soil underneath and debris scattered the surrounding streets from the ferocity of Loki's destruction. Thankfully, Tony could see no casualties and hoped that this was just Loki taking his pain out, and not him intentionally attempting to kill anyone.

" _Tony?_ " Tony spun to see Steve standing behind him, dressed in his full uniform and clutching his shield, "What are you doing here? And in the _suit_? I thought you'd locked them away?" The concern in Steve's voice only made Tony angrier; why couldn't he of just left well enough alone.

"You're the last person I want to talk to, Rogers. _Back off_." Tony turned his back to Steve and went to approach Loki, only to find himself ducking just in time to avoid Steve's shield which went whistling past his head. "The _fuck?!_ " he cried, shocked at Steve's sudden show of aggression.

"You're meant to be with me, Tony!" Steve cried, striding towards him and grabbing at Tony's wrist. Even through the suit, Tony could feel the sheer strength of Steve's grasp and he pulled his arm away, tripping back a few steps in the process.

"What the hell, Steve? What's your problem?" he shouted, angry and more than a little surprised at Steve's reaction.

" _He's my problem!_ " Steve cried, gesturing to where Loki was still ripping Central Park apart and throwing off any attempts to stop him. Steve barrelled forwards again and attempted to grab Tony, but Tony swerved just in time to avoid him.

It continued like that, Tony swerving each of Steve's rage fuelled grabs and not having enough time to take off out of his reach. Eventually though, Steve had managed to chase Tony against a wall and he nowhere else to run. Acting on sheer adrenaline and survival instinct, Tony swung his fist and it collided with Steve's skull, causing the soldier to fall to the ground, knocked out cold.

Tony took off quickly, not wanting to stick around just in case Steve awoke and lashed out again. Hovering above the trees, Tony could watch as Nat attempted to close in on Loki, only for him to push her back with a blast of magic, sending her flying the opposite way. Each of Clint's arrows turned to ash as soon as they neared the God and Thor's cries of " _brother!_ " seemed to be doing little except enraging Loki further.

Tony approached, feeling the waves of magic attempting to push him backwards. He landed and began battling his way towards the God, dodging the debris that flew his way. He saw the exact moment that Loki noticed him, but he felt it too, the waves of magic lessening in intensity slightly, just enough for Tony's voice to be heard, " _Loki_!" He cried, "I'm _sorry!_ "

He could see as Loki's expression crumpled, fresh tears running down his face, " _Fuck off,_ Stark!" he cried, voice broken and lacking any true intent.

Tony took a deep breath, before lifting the mask of the suit as to look Loki directly in the face, "I love you, okay! I _fucking_ love you!"

The effect was instant, the force of Loki's magic dissipating, allowing Tony to walk up to the God, who was standing amongst the wreckage. Panting, with his arms hung limp at his sides, Loki looked at him as if he wasn't quite sure he'd heard him correctly. Tony stood mere meters from Loki, before saying softly again, "I love you, Loki."

Loki seemed to collapse inwards, falling to the ground. Tony rushed forward and gathered him in his arms, muttering apologies into his ear as he smoothed down Loki's hair, kissing him in between each _"I'm so sorry"._

Loki opened his eyes, "I love you too."

\---

It wasn't until after Tony and Loki had both been briefed by Fury (in other words getting yelled out consecutively for half an hour) that they were able to talk freely; curled up in an armchair in the S.H.I.E.L.D HQ living room, they talked about what had happened, Loki forgiving Tony, just as Tony forgave Loki for nearly killing him.

It was curled up together on the armchair that Steve found them; one side of his face black from Tony's punch (Tony smiled in satisfaction, even if the bruise would be gone in under an hour, it was still nice to see) and shuffling his feet. Natasha followed Steve in, along with Clint and Thor (Tony felt Loki stiffen at his side, and Tony tightened the arm wrapped around his waist).

"Before you go off on a tangent Stark, I advise you listen to what Steve has to say." Natasha sounded bored, and she spoke whilst picking at her fingernails.

Steve looked up and winced at the sheer disgust in Tony's eyes, "I know you have no reason to believe me, Tony but I _can_ explain my actions- if you'll let me?" Tony twitched an eyebrow as if to say _"I'm listening"_ and Steve continued, "A few weeks ago Fury sent me out on a mission on my own, nothing too complicated that I couldn't handle. However, something... _Unexpected_ happened and I ended up getting possessed, in a manner similar to how Clint was, uh, before." Steve made a show of trying not to look at Loki as he said that and he heard the God snort next to him. Steve continued, "It turns out that some of the people that Loki had upset before were still after him and knowing that he was under your protection, they set about trying to pull you apart, which they did through me."

Tony frowned, "So you're telling me all the things you said, when you told me that you still loved me, was in fact someone else making you say it?"

Steve looked down, "Yeah, uh, sorry but, er, I'm _not_ in love with you."

There were a few moments of awkward silence before Tony burst into laughter, his head throw back and his eyes watering, "Thank God!" He cried, laughing harder at the look on Steve's face. "No offence Steve, but wow, I'm so _glad_."

Next to him, Loki was muttering under his breath, "So the group that beat me up, who you practically saved me from Tony, they decided to do _this_? I see that I didn't give them enough credit." Loki cocked his head, "Wait, if you were possessed, why are you no longer?"

Steve smiled impishly, "I believe Natasha called it 'cognitive recalibration'. Basically, Tony punched me in the head real hard."

Loki snorted at that and Tony saw as Clint winced in memory of what had probably been a very hard knock on the head from Natasha all that time ago.

"Tony, Loki, I'm really sorry for all that I did and-" Tony cut Steve off with his hand,

"You were literally not in your right mind, it's fine Steve." Tony smiled before standing and pulling Loki up with him, "However, I'm exhausted and I want to go home, so I'll see you all."

Just as Tony went to exit with Loki in tow, he heard Clint mutter, " _You mean go home and fuck Loki into next week_."

Just as Tony was about to respond, Thor's booming voice filled the room, reminding Tony of his presence, "I'd appreciate you not speaking of my brother so, for the matters of the bedroom should be kept quiet, just as I do not mention how you sleep with your bow in bed with you."

Tony dragged Loki out the room before a full blown argument started, Loki throwing Thor a smile over his shoulder.

\---

Back in Stark Tower, Tony headed straight to the kitchen to make coffee, while Loki went to change out of his armour. They found themselves back on Tony's couch, wrapped in a blanket once more and watching a film (Fight Club because it was _badass_ ) before Tony spoke, "Stay with me, Loki. Live here with me, _please_."

Loki raised an eyebrow at Tony, "We'll kill each other, but if that is your wish then..." Loki shuffled closer so his head was resting on Tony's shoulder, "I guess I can deal with such an arrangement."

Tony smiled and kissed the top of Loki's head, inhaling the smell of him; Tony's shampoo, mint and the distinctive smell of _Loki_. "I love you," Tony said simply.

"I love you too," Loki replied, "Now shush, Edward Norton is about to get the shit beaten out of him."

Tony chuckled and settled down to watch the film with Loki, feeling completely and utterly content. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So maybe Steve's not such a bad guy after all? Just so you know I am writing an epilogue for this piece, which I'll post in the next couple of days.


	4. Would it have been worthwhile, after the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from T.S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock".   
> Last chapter, so thanks for all the comments and kudos, it's been wonderful c:  
> \- Ellie.

"Tony, I'm pretty sure there are rules saying you're not supposed to do th- _oh!_ " Loki was cut off by Tony taking his cock into his mouth in one deep swallow, " _Fuck_ , this is really very, uh, inappropriate." Loki was trying his hardest to protest, but actions spoke louder than words and Loki was already spreading his legs wider and lacing his hands into Tony's hair.

As Tony worked on Loki's cock, he began unbuttoning his own shirt, suit jacket and tie long gone. Unencumbered by his shirt, Tony pulled back and grinned wickedly up a Loki, doing his best impersonation of the Trickster's trademark smirk. "Did you really think that I'd be able to resist you, when you're dressed like _that_?" Tony nodded to the black suit Loki was wearing; tailored and slim cut as to accentuate his narrow waist and long legs.

"Tony there are _hundreds_ of people outside that door," Loki said gesturing to the cupboard door, "and the ceremony is due to begin in any moment. We really need to-" Tony interrupted Loki by kissing him again, tilting his head back as to get better access to the God's throat.

"Well then," Tony purred, "We better hurry up." Tony could pinpoint the exact moment Loki gave in to Tony: the God hurriedly began unbuttoning his own shirt whilst Tony shucked off his trousers.

Soon enough, they were both undressed and Tony had Loki pressed against the wall, lifting him up so that Loki could wrap his long legs round Tony's hips. "Fuck me again, Tony," Loki demanded, "I'm still open from his morning, _please_ _Tony,_ now."

Tony didn't need any more persuading; he gripped Loki's waist and pushed into his body, trying his hardest to quell his moans. " _Fuck Loki_ ," he groaned. The God gripped Tony closer, wrapping his arms around the smaller man's shoulders and rolling his hips in a movement that was practically _criminal_.

"More Stark, _c'mon_ , harder!" Loki panted. Tony complied, fucking into Loki's body as hard as he could with the awkward angle, but already his back was complaining from supporting Loki's weight.

Without giving any warning, Tony pulled out of Loki and dragged him down to the ground, the God already arranging himself onto all fours as Tony kneeled behind him. Thanking God that this church had carpeted floors, Tony pushed back into Loki's body, the new angle allowing him to hit Loki's prostate with each thrust.

It didn't take long before Tony was nearing the edge, "Loki, I'm, I'm gonna-", tightening his grip on Loki, he came, his thrusts going erratic as his vision blacked out. He felt as Loki followed, his body tightening even more around Tony's cock.

They collapsed onto the floor together, panting. For a few moments they were both quiet, until a knock came at the door, "Brother? Are you in there?"- it was Thor.

Tony stifled his laughter as Loki shot up and began dressing hurriedly, "One moment, Thor! I'll be out in a second!"

"What are you doing in there, brother? The minister is waiting for you, shall I come i-"

" _No!"_ Loki dived for the door and leant against it, stopping it from opening. Tears were running down Tony's face from suppressed laughter; the image of Loki, bright red and half dressed whilst arguing with his brother was one that Tony would cherish for a long time. "Thor," Loki said, trying to sound calm, "I am simply reviewing my speech, please, I'll be but a moment."

Loki relaxed at the sound of his brother shuffling away. Throwing a scowl at Tony, Loki finished dressing, and began attempting to untangle his hair.

"Get dressed, Stark- Pepper will be looking for you too." At the thought of Pepper walking in to find Tony naked on the floor with a disgruntled looking Loki, _in a church_ , Tony shot up and pulled his suit back on, muttering his thanks as Loki fixed his hair back into some resemblance of tidy.

Both looking presentable, the two men exited the cupboard. "I don't understand why we have to do this, weddings are stupid." Tony said.

Loki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Because we are expected to and anyway, I want to do this, it's important to me."

Tony rolled his eyes, "Fine, sure, whatever."

Loki smiled, " _Tony_ ," he said, "Just do this one thing, okay? I allow you to lock yourself in the workshop for a whole week if you just _behave_."

"Yeah, yeah, okay. Fine." Loki raised an eyebrow, " _I promise to behave_ , okay? Happy now?"

"Ecstatic." Loki kissed the top of Tony's head, before sauntering off to find Thor, "I'll see you out there," he said over his shoulder before disappearing round a corner. Tony sighed and straightened his tie, heading back into the foyer, scanning the pews for Pepper.

Spotting her red hair, he slipped through the crowds and slid into the seat she'd saved him in the front row. "Nervous?" She asked, nodding at his bouncing leg.

He stilled it, "No, I'm fine. This is all rubbish anyway, marriage is overrated."

Pepper opened her mouth to berate him, but just then the music began to play and the congregation stood, Tony somewhat unwillingly. Up the front Loki smiled at Tony, who smiled back, before turning away to watch as Jane walked up the aisle. Even Tony could appreciate how beautiful she looked, the white dress complementing her creamy skin, low cut enough to be sexy, but not inappropriate.

Tony turned back to look at Thor, who was beaming widely, only breaking his eyes from Jane long enough to smile at Loki, his brother and best man.

\---

_Weddings would be okay_ , Tony mused as he watched people dancing, Thor in the middle waving his hands around, nearly knocking out Jane, _if the after parties were always like this._

Next to him, Loki was lining up shots, Darcy opposite him doing the same. The whole evening they had been attempting to out drink one another. Tony had been impressed at first by Darcy's tolerance to alcohol, but now it was just _scary_. Even _Tony_ couldn't out drink Loki, and Tony was damn good at holding his liquor- he'd had long enough practicing.

No, he refused to think about that. Today was supposed to be a day of happiness and love, _blah blah blah._ However much he detested the marriage cliché, he still didn't want to turn all maudlin and end up sobbing into a glass of whiskey.

He turned to watch as Loki downed his final shot, head thrown back exposing his throat. Tempted as he was to lean forward and bite it, he refrained from doing so, knowing that most people didn't appreciate watching two guys making out. Not including Darcy of course, who appreciated it _far_ too much; the first time Darcy had asked them to make out during a truth or dare session, it had been funny. An Avengers sleepover always led to ridiculous dares and sex between team members, and anyway, they'd all been pretty drunk. However, it was kind of scary how much Darcy enjoyed it- Natasha too.

Clint, Loki and Tony had all agreed that girls were _weird._

 "Tony!" Thor pulled Tony to his feet, shaking him from his thoughts, "You must come dance with me! Jane tells me that on Midgard it is customary at weddings!"

Tony's protests fell on deaf ears as he was dragged over to the dance floor, Thor and his fellow Asgardians circling him to prevent him escaping.

Tall didn't even begin to describe Asgardians; Tony had become accustomed to Loki's height, but Volstagg was huge in _both_ directions. If he didn't know the guy, he'd be fucking _terrified._

So, trapped between Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Thor, Tony was feeling distinctly _little_. He was on the edge of having a full scale hissy fit, when Pepper rescued him, pulling him to the opposite end of the dance floor.

"You looked a little distressed," she said, as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, forcing Tony to dance. He didn't mind this, dancing with Pep was fine. It was comfortable. Dancing with the "warriors three" and Thor, Tony had been genuinely worried about losing a limb.

Wrapping his arm around Pepper's waist, he rested his head on her shoulder, "You looked really good today, Pep. Happy been treating you good?"

Tony could sense Pepper rolling her eyes, " _Yes_ Tony, he's been a complete gentleman. But how are _you?"_

"I'm good, Pepper. Y'know, for once, I'm genuinely happy.

The song finished and Tony went to get drinks, only he found himself walking straight into Steve.

"Oh, hello Tony." Steve said, turning bright red and shuffling his feet.

Tony felt just as awkward as Steve looked. They still hadn't _quite_ got back to their friendship, and it was hard to talk to Steve without thinking that he'd seen his cock.

Still, awkwardness aside, Tony really wanted to make an effort at wiping the slate clean. Steve was a good guy, almost painfully good, and Tony missed having him around all the time.

"Hey, Steve, I wanted to talk to you actually. You got a moment?" Steve nodded and silently followed Tony over to an empty table.

There was a moment of silence as they each waited for the other to speak. Eventually, Tony surrendered and spoke first, "We've been through a lot of shit together Steve, and I know that we've both kind of fucked the other one up because of it." Steve nodded in silent agreement, fiddling with a napkin that had been left on the table, "but, y'know, you were my best friend before all this crap happened, and I'd quite like to, uh, well, have that again." Tony went quiet, cheeks burning in embarrassment. He _hated_ talking about feelings, but he knew the best way to get rid of the elephant in the room was to talk about it.

Steve smiled hesitantly, "Why don't we start over?" He reached out a hand, "Hi, I'm Steve Rogers."

Tony rolled his eyes at the cliché of Steve's actions, but played along anyway; whatever made the guy happy. "Tony Stark," he replied, shaking Steve's hand. "Are you Steve Rogers as in _Captain America_? Because, y'know, I'm a _massive_ fan." Tony took pleasure in the blush the spread across Steve's cheeks.

\---

When Steve finally stood to go find Sharon, Tony felt that they were on better terms.

Loki slid into Steve's vacated seat, "I see you and Rogers have sorted your differences."

Tony shrugged, "Another day of him leaving the room every time I entered it and I would have killed the guy."

Loki chucked, "So, weddings; are you still as adverse to them as you were before?"

Raising his eyebrows, Tony replied, "Why? Are you planning on proposing to me, Mr Laufeyson?"

Loki scowled, "In your dreams, Stark. I'm just using you for the money and sex." For a moment Loki held his mask before breaking down into laughter.

Tony liked Loki like this; carefree and happier. Sure, there was still plenty of shit that Tony had to sort out, along with attempting to explain to the world that the guy who'd blown up New York was currently Tony Stark's new boyfriend, but hey.

Things could always be worse. 


End file.
